This is my first time to write my story in english.

i know my english is so bad. i don't like english grammar. i think it's not important in daily life. My host family they're comment to me. they want me to speak too much in dinner time. 'coz in daytime i just speak with the kids it's not enough to improve my english. Sometimes i don't understand what they talked about on dinner time 'coz it's not my business and nothing about me. My friend told me, you should to pretend you don't know more and ask them all everythings...How do you think?? Should i do like that?? but i'm not silly na voyyyyy!!

This weekend i went to shopping with my host mom. i try to speak with her to much 'coz i don't want deadair time when we're on the way in car. it's feel better to speak on sometime. But in workday, i'm feel back to lonely sometimes. i tried to think i'm enjoy in the life and work that i choosed...but i can't fake my mine.

I think about weeked everytime during my workday. 'Coz it's my free time to be myself. i have  more question in my head something like why i came here. Today on my way home i think why is too far and my answer is becuase of destination. when you think about your destination you will think it's too far from you and sometime it's not impossible!! Yesturday i think why i feel lonely in here. i have 4 people and a dog to be friends in this home. And i know it's not my home!! Do you know how different between house and home? House is just a property but Home is the happy space to live and rest with someone you love like your parents, your sister or  brother and you lover. it's not here...not this home.

My host family they're good to me but sometimes it's not enough for my heart. My heart it's not warm like i'm with my mother and my sister. i like the sentence to say 'if your feet not cold, it's will be cold at your heart' Now my feet and my heart is too cold.

i miz u..Mom & Sister

ps.i will stand with everythings!!